Sara Pascoe on IVF: The emotional side of fertility treatment and when to consult a health specialist

Comedian Sara Pascoe, 44, revealed in March 2026 on BBC Radio 4's Desert Island Discs that she is actively trying to "be proud" of the IVF treatment she used to conceive her two sons, born in 2022 and 2023. Her candid remarks about feeling isolated during fertility treatment — and her decision to discuss IVF openly in her stand-up show "I Am A Strange Gloop" — have sparked wide conversation about the emotional burden of fertility treatment and when professional support genuinely helps.

What Sara Pascoe Said — and Why It Matters

Speaking with presenter Lauren Laverne, Pascoe described IVF as something she initially struggled to talk about publicly, despite its growing prevalence. "It feels like a positive way to talk about something that people feel very isolated in," she said. Pascoe has two sons conceived through IVF and chose to make her experience part of her comedy rather than keep it private.

Pascoe is far from alone in that experience. In the UK, approximately 1 in 7 couples experiences difficulty conceiving. NHS data shows that around 73,000 IVF cycles are performed annually in the UK, yet surveys consistently show that between 40 and 60 percent of patients report feeling inadequately informed about the emotional aspects of treatment before they started.

The IVF Emotional Journey: What Specialists Know

IVF is medically complex — but the psychological dimension is often underestimated and underprepared for. The treatment involves a cycle of high expectations and potential disappointment compressed into a matter of weeks:

• Hormonal changes from stimulation drugs directly affect mood, causing anxiety and emotional volatility that patients are rarely prepared for
• The two-week wait between embryo transfer and pregnancy test is consistently cited as the most psychologically difficult phase of the cycle
• Failed cycles carry a grief response that is frequently not acknowledged by social support networks ("you can try again" is not a helpful response to embryo loss)
• Secrecy pressure — many couples undergo IVF without telling family or friends, increasing social isolation precisely when support is most needed

Mental health professionals who specialise in fertility have noted that patients who receive psychological support during IVF cycles report better coping outcomes, even in failed cycles. Importantly, this does not necessarily mean weekly therapy — a single consultation with a specialist to discuss expectations and coping strategies can meaningfully reduce distress.

When Should You Consult a Specialist?

Many people delay seeking professional help around fertility because they feel it implies weakness, or because they are unsure what kind of professional to see. In practice, there are clear situations where a consultation with a health specialist is beneficial:

Before starting IVF:

• If you are anxious about the process and feel poorly informed
• If you and your partner are not aligned on how many cycles to attempt or what you would do if treatment fails
• If you have existing anxiety or depression that could be exacerbated by the hormonal element of treatment

During treatment:

• If mood changes from medication are significantly affecting daily functioning
• If relationship strain is emerging from the stress of treatment
• If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts or severe anxiety during the two-week wait

After a failed cycle or miscarriage:

• Pregnancy loss — including the loss of an embryo — is recognised as a form of grief by the British Psychological Society. Bereavement support is appropriate and available.

After successful treatment:

• Some parents who conceive through IVF experience anxiety during pregnancy or post-natal depression at higher rates than the general population. Early specialist input is recommended.

Fertility Treatment in the UK: Practical Realities

Access to IVF on the NHS varies significantly by region. NHS England guidelines recommend that women under 40 who have been trying to conceive for two years (or one year if over 40) should be offered three cycles of IVF. In practice, many Clinical Commissioning Groups fund fewer cycles, and waiting lists have lengthened considerably since 2020.

The average cost of a private IVF cycle in the UK ranges from £3,000 to £5,000 per cycle, excluding medication (which adds £1,000 to £1,500 typically). Cumulative costs for multiple cycles are a major source of financial stress for couples — and one that a financial advisor can help plan for in advance.

Breaking the Silence: Why Sara Pascoe's Approach Works

Comedians and public figures discussing fertility treatment on mainstream platforms — Desert Island Discs reaches millions of listeners — have a measurable impact. Research from Fertility Network UK has shown that community and visible shared experience significantly reduce the sense of isolation reported by IVF patients.

Pascoe's choice to discuss her IVF in her comedy special is also practical: it normalises the conversation in environments (social events, workplaces) where fertility treatment is often invisible. Given that the average IVF patient is between 35 and 39 years old and working full-time, visible role models in public life genuinely help.

If you or someone you care about is navigating IVF or fertility concerns, consulting a specialist health professional early provides both the information and the emotional preparation that can make the journey less isolating. Expert Zoom connects you with health specialists available online for a confidential first consultation.

Medical disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. If you have questions about fertility treatment, consult a qualified healthcare professional.